She is beautiful. She is loving. She is kind.
She is a professional multitasker with a never ending to-do list. She willingly gives the food off her plate, the clothes in her closet, the jewelry in her box. She is an interpreter for tiny life forms, a personal chef, a chauffeur, and even a maid.
She is a mother.
She is strong. She is passionate. She is fearless.
She is a runner who is ready and willing for the next challenge. She isn’t afraid to feel pain. She pushes her body to its limits because she knows it has more to give. At her core she is competitive with herself and others. She strives to be better every day.
She is a runner.
A Trophy Wife is a mother who hunts down trophies and PRs on the open road.
She is the mother runner who becomes a better version of herself thru running. She is a woman who isn’t ashamed to admit that she craves more than motherhood to be happy. Juggling motherhood, managing a household, and training are her perfect recipe for feeling fulfilled. She makes every minute count.
She is unstoppable.
Never wrong a running mom
Last summer I was lifting at the gym when I ran into that infamous young male trainer who harped on my running form way back when. The following conversation left my blood boiling and was the exact moment when I realized that I am a Trophy Wife.
Trainer: When is your next race?
Me: A 5k this weekend! I’m super nervous… and excited too! Just hope all the hard work pays off!
Trainer: You don’t expect to PR at every single race, do you?
Me: No… but it would be nice, wouldn’t it? I’m sure as hell going to try! (Jokingly I added…) I figure that I’ve just started running this year so I’ve got at least 2 more years before I peak!
Trainer: Will you feel disappointed if you don’t PR?
Me: Of course. When you work hard for something you want to see results, so yes, I would be a little disappointed. But then I’ll just have to move forward, train harder, and focus on the next race!
Trainer: I just don’t get it. Why do you put so much pressure on yourself? Why the disappointment?
Me: I don’t see it as pressure and disappointment. I see racing as a fun challenge. Being competitive is fun for me. I like the pressure. I have a baby and no job (at the time); I have to focus my energy somewhere, haha- Might as well be running!
Trainer: Why not put your energy back into your child?
This question left my blood boiling. I wanted to scream:
I love my daughter with all my heart. Can you even fathom how much I love her and how much i do for her?! I am the one that wakes up with Lilly at whenever-o’clock, feeds her breakfast, dries her tears when she cries, changes her dirty diapers, chases her around the house when she refuses to wear a diaper or get dressed, holds her tight when she is feverish and throwing up, clips her finger and toe nails, brushes her teeth every morning and night, gets her in her “jammie-jams”, reads her bedtime stories, sings her one more lullaby and then kisses her head before bedtime!
I opened my mouth with my bitter response, but somehow found the self-control to swallow my angry words. I said, “I guess we’ll just have to agree to disagree” and was on my way.
Needing more than motherhood
I love being a mother and yet, it’s true, I need more than motherhood. I refuse to allow this trainer make me feel ashamed for this. I didn’t owe this trainer an explanation about my personal struggles as a mother or my newfound passion as a road runner. I only owe Lilly the best parts of myself, and running helps me give her that. Competing against myself helps me give her that.
Over the past two years running has morphed my post-baby body into that of a strong athlete, as well as a happy, healthy mother. I doubt myself, my running ability and my parenting decisions all the time so much so that I have started to repeat the following mantra to myself at home and on the road: You are stronger than you think you are.
PRs are not given, they are earned. I’m making as many PRs in parenting as I am in running—and I feel like I’m earning all of them.
Over the next year I will break 20 min in the 5k, 1:30 in the half and 3:20 in the marathon- oh yea, and I’m raising a toddler.
Hi, my name is Kassandra Berry. I’m a Trophy Wife and I’m damn proud of it!