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Out of the darkness and into the light.

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Have you ever woken suddenly in the middle of the night feeling disoriented and not knowing what time it is? Yet somehow you sense it that the darkest part of the night has passed and the light of the morning is only a few mere hours away. Before you know it the warm glow from the rising sun is filling the crevices of the room to signal the fresh start to a new day.

I’m not there yet, but I feel it coming. The new day. The fresh start.

I do, however, know that the darkest part of my night has passed leaving me feeling a little less fearful and a little more optimistic of my unknown future. Things are getting better. *Lillian and I are finding a rhythm in this new life as we get used to seeing each other every other week. (You heard me right: one week on, one week off. I still tear up a little when I drop her off on the final morning to which she replies, “I love you so much Mommy. I’m excited to see Daddy too though… but I love you Mama!” She’s amazing.) My long job search is coming to an end as I have verbally accepted an offer that will allow me to do embrace both of my passions: mental health and coaching runners (more on this to come once things are finalized!). My coaching business is booming and I have somehow surrounded myself with the most amazing group of athletes across the country! Love my Lone Runners!! Oh yea, did I mention that I’m dating someone? 🙂  Yes, the darkest part of the night has surely passed me by and I’m on to making new memories mile by mile.

So what exactly have I been doing for the past days… weeks… months? Here it is in a nutshell…

 

IMG_11211. I’ve been running!!
Have I been training? Hmmm. That’s a good question. I told Beth, my amazing, Pro-triathlete coach from The Run Formula that I needed to take off from official training this fall. With so much D-stuff on my plate I knew that my head and heart couldn’t commit to train the way I really want to train with beth(high stress speed workouts and high volume mileage). So my plan was to train myself for a fall half marathon at Baystate in October until something interesting started to unfold….

I took one week completely off after Boston 2016 and then generally ran 30 miles/week for about three weeks. Then the first week of June started off my half marathon training at 40 miles a week hoping to grow my miles at 60 training miles/week and my long run to about 17. If I wasn’t going to push speed during this training cycle then I wanted to build durability for my winter training. Then a funny thing happened …. I made it to 17 training miles and just kept going. I made it to 60 miles for the week and just kept adding more miles. Wait, am I training for the Baystate Half-Marathon or Full Marathon in October? Honestly- I don’t know yet. I guess I’m on marathon training autopilot or something!  Since I haven’t been doing a ton of serious speed work I typically do I don’t have the power or speed I’d need to PR. All I know is that I LOVE running long. I love heading out for two to three hour runs. After two hours I just find my groove on the road where my worries wash away and my stride becomes effortless. Yes, it’s true- it takes me two hours to decompress haha. Oh well.  So mayyyybe I will marathon this October. I haven’t quite decided.

 

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2. I’ve been job hunting and interviewing… like whoa!!(I even did my hair a few times! see-–>)

I haven’t just been job hunting, I’ve spent the better part of a year soul searching to figure out the right career direction for me. There was a time I even said, “Why can’t someone just tell me what I need to do to be happy?!?” Wouldn’t that make life easier? The reality is that I am the only person who can choose the right path for me and sometimes it takes a lot of time for that path to reveal itself. My new path will be a leap of faith as I work towards building a new career. But for some reason I’m not scared; I’m excited. I’m ready  to work and work hard. 🙂 I’m so excited for the months to come! I promise I won’t make you wait long!

Till then you can find me at the local running store obsessing over the new shoe of the week #alltheshoes :).

 

 

 

IMG_12083. I’ve been super protective of my Lilly-mama time!

One thing that made job hunting tricky was that many jobs are not single-mom friendly. You have to work till 8 pm every night. You will be on call at night/weekends. Are you available to work weekend? No thank you. No. And hell no. Sorry- my chicken nugget takes priority. I only see her 50% of the time so no way on Earth I am going to sacrifice any more time than I have to. Where there’s a will there’s a way. I will find a way to make this work! I’m willing to work hard, but I need to protect my Lilly time too.

In the mean time Lilly and I have been having a blast together at the YMCA pool, Nantasket beach, exploring Weymouth’s Webb park, and just snuggling on the couch. Also next week is our annual family trip to the Jersey Shore with my family!! Lilly can’t wait to see her cousins! I can’t wait for FUDGE and the opportunity to run doubles. Muhahaha!

 


Frozen 5K4. I’ve been coaching my 15 chickadees all across the country! 

If Lilly is my chicken nugget then my athletes are my chickadees. I started coaching one runner in the Winter of 2015 and quickly grew to 15 when I started coaching for The Run Formula!! My athletes seek to inspire each other and be inspired as they train for their respective races (anything from 5k to marathon). I create custom training plans for my athletes based on their current level of fitness and goals. I also talk to nearly every athlete once a day, review their workouts and answer questions/concerns that arise during training runs. Giving someone else the tools necessary to tackle their fears and go after their dreams is an amazing experience and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m so fortunate to be surrounded by such amazing, dedicated athletes! Thanks guys, I love you!!

 

So that’s it, for now. I’ll be back. I always come back. I’m The Lone Runner. I can’t stop. I won’t stop. I’ll never stop- writing :).

~ Kass

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I got a new watch: the Garmin 235. It’s my second child. I love her, snuggle with her and she counts my steps, tells me that I need to sleep more and reminds me that my resting heart rate is a solid 37 BPM- yep, I’m barely alive :). She’s AMAZING and has HR in the wrist with an ACCURATE read!!

 

One Response

  1. MARK VARNER

    So Happy to hear this Kass!! It certainly has been a long journey but its awesome that you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel! Your running, working, job hunting,interviewing, coaching, being a mom & being Kass is simply worthy of a heptathlon medal!! Have a great time with your family!

    PS Drooling over new running shoes is also a full time job 🙂

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